Listening... Are you sure you really are?

Be honest how many times have you been in a conversation where you are forming your own opinion/ response before the person speaking has completed their story?

Now be really honest how often is your opinion influenced by your assumed viewpoint of that person, whether it’s their dress sense, vocabulary / accent or ‘social’ status.

Or even worse, have you been engaged in a conversation where you sense that you are being watched for your response, feel isolated from the social situation or find yourself under tremendous pressure to confirm to the group’s norm?

According to Fels Institute of Government at University of Pennsylvania.

“Whenever we listen to a statement, particularly one that is charged with emotion, our immediate tendency is to evaluate it from our perspective. That’s natural and human and an impediment to communication if we don’t deliberately put on the brakes and control it”.

Based on the research of: Adler, R., Rosenfeld, L. and Proctor, R. (2001)

Interplay: the process of interpersonal communicating (8th edn), Fort Worth, TX: Harcourt.

So, if 45% of our time spent communicating is actually listening, are we? No, I don’t believe we are, primarily because we’re too full of our own self-importance rather than truly caring what the other person wishes to say.

What can we learn from our human-animal bond conversations?

This conversation we have with dogs is communication at an unspoken level, where there is an emotional response so lacking in many human situations that I can recall.

How many reading this have been bullied by a ‘so called friend’ into behaving not how you would wish to from your heart? On reflection this is usually as a result of their fear causing a manic desire for control & need to dominate.

If we looked at this from the other side of the mirror as in seeing what the speaker is seeing in us would we possibly change?

To do so we should enter into the conversation as a truly humble listener where the speaker has the most important subject to' talk about – well it usually is to them.

Does your dog actually care about your dress sense, vocabulary / accent (unless you’re screaming at it) or ‘social’ status? A lot of which has been manipulated for a sense of power.

Originally published in Reflections of a Beautiful Friendship 2018 Spencer B. Hodgetts©

So you may well ask how do I listen more constructively?

Well you can learn how to have Constructive Conversations based on this excellent model.

Next, I'd recommend you practice, practice & practice this until it becomes totally natural for you? Especially for step 3 above: Intake.

If you've ever practiced martial arts or driven trucks at an advanced level or truly immersed yourself in the natural world, then you'll understand what I'm on about. Maybe a little known fact about me is that I've done all three.

To learn more simply ask me: hello@reboundog.com

Listening is an intricate part of conversations & here at Reboundog we practice two of our core values Curious & Transparent in our Conversations on the Reboundog Sofa.

Imagine:

• Bridging the gap between diverse perspectives and forging collaborative partnerships to drive meaningful change for social impact.
• Shaking up the status quo and crafting innovative initiatives that truly transform the animal welfare & disenfranchised people landscape.

It all starts with curious & transparent conversations.

To join in the conversation & to discover the exciting development we have planned for our Sofa Meet-ups simply register here

This Sofa Meet-up will also deliver as promised the launch of Reboundog Ambassadors

Ambassadors Inspiring Change (reboundog.news)

Reboundog Member News

Joanna Dumas has published her latest newsletter which I've shared on Reboundog News

Taking The Spooky Out Of Halloween For Your Newf (reboundog.news)

I've applied to Product Builder Programme | Barclays Eagle Labs (uk.barclays) in respect of where I wish to take Reboundog as a Platform next year.

Recommended reading by Simon Robinson et al at Holonomics

Do you have member news you'd like shared on the next Reboundog newsletter?

I'll leave you with this thought & hopefully see you on the Sofa on Wednesday...

Listening... Are you sure you really are?